Sabbatical Summary

Well, as my sabbatical comes to an end, I have to say, it’s one of the best things I have ever done for myself (see Sabbatibal Update 1 for what I’m talking about). I actually didn’t know why I was doing it other than I felt God was leading me to, and to be honest, I was afraid to do it.

Tomorrow I’m going to church and it will be the end of my week to myself and God alone. Brandon will come back home and life will pick up where it left off just over a week ago, and I’m ready for it. I did some profound thinking this week, and I feel so much more prepared to enter back into day-to-day life.

I shared with you guys the email my former professor sent me. What actually ended up happening when I replied to the email was that we spontaneously decided to meet up. He invited me over to his home and I spent almost the entire day Thursday soaking in his wisdom. He is probably one of the most significant spiritual mentors I’ve ever had in my life and he doesn’t even consider himself a Christian. But his love for God and his love for other people are so inspirational they leave me with a craving to learn from him. Executives of fortune 500 companies pay a lot of money to have 30 minutes of his time a week (he’s  a life coach) and yet he joyfully offered his time to me for about 5 hours Thursday. We talked in great length about meditation, finding your life purpose, connecting with God, showing unconditional love to everyone, and many other life topics. I should have brought a recorder, but I just sat curled up in the recliner of his living room intently listening and asking more questions. That day will probably go down in my life notebook (as if I have one) as one of my favorite life experiences. I am so humbly thankful.

I was left with a myriad of questions to ask myself. Confession: I drove from there to Ikea and spent a couple hours sitting in random furniture just thinking about all kinds of things. And of course walked out $60 poorer, haha. That evening I called my BFF Meryl. I needed to talk to someone and I needed an update on her life anyways. Long phone conversations with Meryl have been food for my soul for years now. Thank you God for blessing my life with her.

Friday I woke up an took care of emails and obligations for about an hour and then shut my phone and laptop off for the rest of the day. I found a quiet place and tried meditation for the first time. It’s going to take me years to develop the skill (if that’s even how you phrase that??) but there’s a first time for everything. I found out that the list I copy pasted in my last update was a list he developed for his personal life over the last 20 years, so mine really shouldn’t look the same. That list is his 21 values. Those are the principles he wants to live by so each morning he asks himself if he is living by those values. I’ve decided to use his example and pick a few of those that are really important to me and start there. I don’t think I’m ready for 21 yet. I also learned what a mantra is. Here’s the wiki for it if you don’t know. I have to work on finding mine.

Also on Friday I was cleaning out some things around the house and found two old copies of Relevant Magazine. I spent my afternoon reading them each cover to cover and it was astounding how much they were full of what I feel I needed right at that moment. I don’t think they put the articles they publish in print on their website, otherwise I’d link you guys to some of my favs.

By the end of the night, I knew two things.

1. For a year I have been talking about making a dream board. I need to do it.

2. I can’t figure anything else out about my life until I find my purpose because all other decisions are dependent on that.

I started writing my dreamboard list. (If you don’t know what a dream board is it’s like taking your goals and making a visual poster of your goals.) I asked myself “If you came to the end of  life, what would you be disappointed that you never accomplished?” It helped me filter through some things that I want and would be nice, but in the end wouldn’t create disappointment. And it also helped me find some really small things that don’t seem like a big deal, but I realized were a big deal for me. Asking myself these questions ultimately started showing me what was really most important to me. Then I realized that I think I do have a purpose. I believe my purpose in life is:

To help others grow

Bam. It may mean absolutely nothing to you, but I realized it meant everything to me. I love helping other people discover themselves, grow in their spiritual walk, do better in school, or simply find confidence in being themselves. We were all created completely different and I love helping other people find themselves and have confidence to go in the right direction for their individual path.

That being said, I had to face a serious fear. About 10 years ago I started feeling a calling towards the self-help/motivational speaking world in some realm. (There are THOUSANDS of people who help on ENDLESS subjects). I’ve been afraid to admit that’s what I want because I feel like it’s really easy to fail and not achieve that. I feel like it’s a BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL that’s easier to not admit is inside my head. But I’m ready to lay it out there. I’m ready to not be afraid of it anymore and to start making decisions in my life that will lead me in that direction.

If that was the only thing I got out of this week, then it would have all been worth it. But it’s not. I feel like such a stronger version of myself now. I no longer feel spiritually starved. I no longer feel drained and exhausted by the world and life. I feel in control of my own destiny and fully ready to pursue God’s will for my life, whatever it may be.

By the way….after a year and four months of the same item sitting on my to-do list, I finally finished my dreamboard. I posted a pic of it on my 365 blog. I don’t mind sharing the list with you. I put it on a cork board because I wanted the ability to add and take away as I grow and learn. I feel like what we want out of life is always changing, so I didn’t want to create something that was permanent. But I feel REALLY STINKIN’ GOOD about the fact that I finally checked this off my to-do list. Here’s what my dreamboard reads (in no particular order, just typing it from the random order I stuck it to the board):

• Backpack through Europe
• Read the entire Bible
• Read 20 books in one year
• Take a Key West vacation (I’ve never been…)
• Find a philanthropic cause to put my heart into
• Run a 5k in less than 30 minutes (I’ve done 2 around 43-45 min)
• Become debt free
• Have a retirement plan
• Grow old with Brandon
• Start a family: invest in the next generation
• Take a photo I’m truly proud of
• Live somewhere else. MOVE!
• Have a flat stomach (a.k.a get my butt in shape!)
• Beat my sprint-triathlon score
• Help my sister plan her future wedding one day
• Mentor someone
• Have a full time job helping others’ enrich their lives (maybe that looks like a full time blogger/speaker/DVD series/life coach?)
• Get my nose pierced
• Help Brandon achieve his dreams (Two of the ones I put up there were for him because I know two things he really, really wants are: 1. DP a feature length film and 2. become a member of the American Society of Cinematographers [there's only like 50-ish living people in it at any given time. REALLY REALLY high honor in cinematography])

So yeah. In case you didn’t realize it, I just openly poured my heart out. I have spent a week isolated in my house eating only raw fruits and veggies, reading, seeking, and occasionally taking care of some necessary tasks. At the conclusion of my week’s soul searching, these are the things I discovered about myself. I realize not everyone can take a week off of their lives (actually, I don’t even know how I did and what repercussions I’ll deal with next week), but at least start taking some time to think about who you really are, why you’re doing what you’re doing, and where you’re going in this life. Are you doing it with purpose?

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