As we were getting ready for bed tonight I confessed to my husband something that’s been really troubling me the last few days. There are less than 12 weeks left in 2015 and a lot of my plans are not looking hopeful that they will be finished.
You see, the last couples years I have started off January with a dream board for the year. I made my first dream board in 2011 and it was more of a “bucket list” philosophy. Lately, I’ve been breaking that down at the start of each year to decipher which bite-sized pieces I see fitting into a 12-month period and setting out to conquer those with tenacious focus.
However, I sit here not feeling so tenacious. There are a handful of things on my 2015 dream board list that are about to get rolled over AGAIN. This would mean three years in a row that I set out to accomplish what was already supposed to be finished. And unless something changes, the track I’m on isn’t looking too hot.
So, I am going to get vulnerable with you guys and post where I am at with a few of these goals and what I can still do about it with 11 weeks to go. I’ve always been a deadline driven person, so let’s do this. I can cram 12 months of work into just under 12 weeks. It would be par for the course for me. If I don’t finish them, I will feel a hell of a lot better on January 1 than if I accept them as incomplete with nearly a quarter of the year left!!!
You may be wondering what unfinished business I have floating out there. Not gonna lie….it feels a little vulnerable putting out to the world my desires and knowing that I risk allowing people to see me fail. But that story doesn’t serve me. So I will change it. I am sharing my desires so that others may walk alongside me and share the journey. I know where I am going. I know what I want. I know I will get there. I just may not always be right about how long things take.
“Do not put off for tomorrow what can be done today.” – Ben Franklin
I’m out of tomorrow’s. If the things I want to see happen in my life are going to happen, then I have to be diligent about creating them NOW. Here are some of the items at risk of rolling over:
- I’ve been wanting to start a blog for YEARS!!! You can see here that I dabbled in it a few years ago and then in 2012 I decided I definitely was going to do it and take it serious. So what did I do? Did I start blogging more? Nope. That seems that the obvious solution. Instead, I read some AMAZING books about how to have THE BEST BLOGS EVER and they got me SO EXCITED! I had all the information to do it right and I was going to have a kick ass blog! So I thought about it A LOT. You have no idea how much I thought about it and talked to friends about it. Then in 2013 I got up the courage to buy the perfect template. It has all the bells and whistles. Dropped $200 on this perfect template. But guess what? Nothing has come of it. I don’t even understand how to use it. And I have to plug in so many things I don’t have yet. I mean, can I really start a blog without a new head shot, and a free giveaway to offer views so they be enticed to subscribe and an e-book to buy while they’re on my site? I have spent YEARS in thought of what all these pretty things will look like. But I have not blogged. So each year I keep planning that THIS WILL BE THE YEAR!!!!! I will FINALLY put all those pieces together and launch my pretty blog. Well, dammit. It’s too much work. And I’m just not there yet. And years of awesome posts that I would have LOVED to have recorded about this serious kick-ass journey I’ve been on have vanished into thin air. Even if no one else ever reads them, I want to blog about my journey so I can reflect on my path. So here you are. Rather than thinking about it, tonight before bed I opened the laptop and poured out my thoughts. (P.S. I know everything wrong about this post. Definitely exceeding the ideal 500-700 word count. Awful formatting. Total lack of pretty pictures and I’m a photographer. Haha! But that’s okay. I did it. I’m not ready for followers yet. I’m doing this for ME.
- Turn our house into a home
- We moved into this house when Eleanora was 2 weeks old. First time parents. Self-employed work-from-home business owners. And I was on bed rest from the delivery. I also waited until after delivering a child to decide I wanted to learn how be domestic. Needless to say, decorating was at the bottom of my priority list. I spent 2014 in pretty much survival mindset. I was doing whatever I could to keep my head above water and was filled with immense gratitude that we had a roof above our heads. So, for 2015 I wanted to take these empty white walls and unfinished bedrooms and make it a place that felt like it belonged to us. That it was ours. I have DOZENS of picture frames stacked on the floor, behind couches, in closets, waiting for pictures to be printed and waiting to be hung on the walls. In January one of my greatest desires was that by the end of the year, there would be family pictures hanging on my walls. But alas, there are none. In fact, I stumbled on some killer deals and bought MORE frames. So the stack only grew. Definitely don’t feel like I have scored a 0 on this one considering in July we actually purchased this house so it is truly ours. And my husband has ripped all the cabinet doors off and sanded them in anticipation of the coming kitchen remodel. And he painted our bedroom and finished the living room. But it’s been all him. He has taken care of the projects that were important to him. The ones that were important to me are still left hanging—-or rather not.
- Earn my white Mercedes
- In 2013 I started my Arbonne business with the goal of promoting to Regional Vice President in 6 months. The average is 1-3 years but I am amazing and I can do it faster than everyone else. I mean, I was in gifted classes in school. And had a GPA of 6.2 on a 4.0 scale when I graduated high school. And I was in the Honors College at USF and graduated Magna Cum Laude. If I am anything at all, I am ABOVE AVERAGE, right? Hahahaha! Oh my gosh! If this business has taught me anything, it’s taught me that I have A LOT of growing up to do. I love this company and I love my business. And I am GOING to promote to Regional Vice President so they pay for my car, a white Mercedes. Considering I drive around with my almost two year old daughter in a beat up 2-door Honda Civic, just having 4 doors is going to be AMAZING! But here were go again, I truly believed, with every fiber in my being that it wasn’t even possible for me to finish 2015 without my car. I did District Manager in 2013, Area Manager in 2014, so time for the next step. However, here I am, in the middle of October, with numbers so ridiculously far from my goal that no one would be looking at me based on what they see on paper and say “Oh yeah…..THAT GIRL is headed straight for the top!” HAHAHA! No way. But….if you had been watching me this year, behind the scenes, what isn’t measurable, you may have a different story. You see, I have been kicking ass at a different goal which was to read 20 personal development books this year and I’m well over half way. Until diving into these books and learning so much about highly successful people, I honestly didn’t know what I didn’t know. I have carried so many bad habits, limiting beliefs, lack of discipline and other things around with me for so long they were my normal. And I’ve been changing my normal. My numbers may not look like steady growth but both my husband and I know how much I have been pouring into making myself a better leader (which begins with leading yourself) and it’s a LOT of growth. So now that I’ve almost mastered leading myself, I am more prepared than ever to lead others. My husband said to me tonight, as I spoke to him without even being able to look him in the eye due to my self-inflicted shame, “You’re time is coming. And soon. If you had promoted a year ago you may have had the title, but your leadership skills would have still needed so much improvement. Look how much better you are now at this, this and this. It’s like that quote about luck. You’re ready to get lucky.” And the quote he’s referring to is “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
- Get In Shape
- Yep. Like many others, there is a picture on my dream board of a woman rockin’ an awesome bikini bod. Can I wear a bikini? HELL NO! hahaha. These flabby thighs and tummy would attract a totally different type of attention than I would prefer. LOL! I know exactly what it takes to get what I want, I just haven’t done it. Confession…despite how clean I eat, I LOVE carb loading around 10pm. Every night. Mmmmmm…..yeah. A whole container of hummus with whatever I feel like dipping in there….including my finger. Several rice cakes with almond butter. Double MmmmMMMmmm if it’s Justin’s with maple syrup. Some GMO-free blue corn chips with salsa. THE BEST! However, despite that these aren’t actually loaded with nutrition, tacking on 1000 calories before bed does not lead to a hot bod. I’m up about 15lbs over last year. And that’s the only thing I changed. I reintroduced my late night snack. Tonight rather than dropping my late night snack cold turkey I just changed rules. I can only have raw veggies after dinner. So I sat in front of the TV with a stalk of broccoli in my hand. To my credit though, I have started Crossfit a couple times a week and at least have used my Y membership enough to justify keeping it. Not enough for results with either, but improvement over last year.
There you go. That was it. These are the topics of my present self-loathing.
But they end here. I opened up this blog after years of silence to just get this out of my head and out into the universe, where it belongs.
So, I’ve got 11 weeks. I can do this! Here’s my challenge to myself for each goal. Between now and December 31 I am committing to:
-Blogging every time something is weighing on me
-Printing pictures for all of the frames and telling Brandon where I want them hung
-Helping three brand new consultant promote to District Manager.
-Following the Arbonne 30-days to Healthy Living Guide for the next 11 weeks straight and hitting Crossfit and/or the Y 4 days a week.
I got this. I am capable of leading myself. I have everything it takes to create what I want out of this life.